Duties of the Maid of Honor

So you have been asked to be the maid (or matron) of honor at a wedding and you’re wondering exactly what is going to be expected of you. Firstly you need to understand that there is usually some cost involved with this position, from the dress and shoes to party arrangements. Also as the maid of honor there are a number of duties that you will be expected to perform.

These duties may include:

• Being available to the bride. Sound easy? You will be expected to help in any way possible with all pre-wedding planning:

          Choosing locations
          Choosing invitations
          Music
          Decorations
          Seating arrangements
          Dresses
          Dinner menus

• Attending all pre-wedding functions i.e. the engagement party and the dress rehearsal
• Hosting the bridal shower
• Planning the Staggette
• Making sure that the dresses will be done on time and they are altered as necessary
• Organizing the bridesmaids, make sure that they are aware of what they are required to do and when
• Helping the bride to dress
• Making sure that the bride arrives on time to the ceremony
• Adjusting the bride’s veil and train throughout the day
• Holding the groom’s ring if there is no ring bearer
• Signing the marriage license
• Holding the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony
• Giving a speech at the reception
• Keeping track of all gifts to the couple and who they are from

And the most important part of your job is to provide emotional support for the bride throughout all of these stages. And keep a sense of humor!

Duties of the Mother of the Bride

The dream that you have often envisioned for your daughter is about to take place — your daughter is getting married! This may create a mixture of emotions for you. And yes, you may be asked to pay for a large portion of the event but try to keep in mind that it is your daughter’s day. It is her wedding that you are trying to make happen.

As the mother of the bride it is usually your responsibility to:

• Help choose the wedding gown
• Planning of the ceremony details
• Hosting the engagement party
• Putting the engagement announcement in the newspaper
• Putting together the guest list and invitations
• Selecting your dress and making sure that it goes well with the mother of the groom’s dress
• Walking down the aisle with one of the groomsmen and being seated in the first pew
• Attending pre-wedding functions, rehearsals and showers
• Being the hostess at the reception and do a lot of the planning including the menu and music
• Be the first person in the receiving line

More than likely your most important role is to offer emotional support for your daughter and to help her in making decisions to make this her perfect day.

Duties of the Best Man

Congratulations, you have been asked to be the best man at your buddy’s wedding. As best man there are some things that you should know. Firstly there is going to be some cost involved with this position, from rental fees to party arrangements. Also, as the best man there are a number of responsibilities that traditionally go with this position.

Your duties will probably include the following:

• Organizing the stag party ( or the stag and doe with the help of the maid of honor)
• Giving a speech at the reception. The best man usually gives the first toast to the bride and groom and thanks the bridesmaids.
• Attending all functions leading up to the ceremony i.e. engagement party and wedding rehearsal
• Organizing the groomsmen and the ushers. Making sure that the ushers are aware of any special seating arrangements
• Holding the bride’s ring if there is no ring bearer
• Holding the marriage license
• Paying the ceremony officiator
• Assisting in the formal wear arrangements for all male members of the wedding party
• Making sure that the suits are fitted properly and that they are picked up on time
• Signing the marriage license
• Helping the groom to get ready
• Making sure that the groom gets to the ceremony on time
• Arranging transportation to the wedding and to the reception if it is in a different location
• Making sure that the cars are decorated and clean
• Arranging transportation for the bride and groom after the ceremony

And possibly the most important job of all is providing moral support for your friend and picking up all the loose ends that crop up at the last minute.

Selecting a Wedding Cake

The wedding cake has played a focal point in wedding ceremonies for years. There are many varying customs and traditions associated with the cake itself. When selecting your cake of choice you may want to look at which traditions if any you want to include in your reception. You may also want to look at the family backgrounds, when you are choosing your cake. And of course, another big concern for many is the price of the cake.

Some Things You Might Want to Consider:

• Many brides wish to keep the top layer of their cake to be served on their first anniversary or for a special occasion. You may want to consider how long the cake will last in the freezer if you are planning to do this.
• Some couples choose to perform the traditional cutting of the cake as a symbol of the first thing they do as a couple. This can be awkward if you have a many layered cake.
• One tradition allows for the guests to take small pieces of the cake home with them to put under their pillows. Supposedly they will then dream of their future intended. This can be difficult to do if you have chosen a cheesecake.

Almost every country and culture has their own variation of what is served for dessert at weddings. This can range from the French’s Croquembouche, a cream filled pastry ball which is stacked into a cone shape to the Korean custom of a steamed rice cake. In the Ukraine they do not serve cake at all but rather have a traditional bread called Korovai. If you are set on having a big tiered cake you might consider having a groom’s cake made to reflect the heritage of the family.

The cost of a big cake can run well into the hundreds and sometime thousands of dollars. If this is not in your budget you might want to consider some more modern variations of the wedding ‘cake‘. Almost any dessert can be tiered or layered to resemble a cake. Cupcakes which can be arranged on trays are very popular. Another unconventional idea is serving a mousse or pudding which is served in champagne glasses. The glasses are arranged in tiers. Pies are another choice which is becoming more common.

You should keep in mind that today’s weddings cakes can be as unique as the couple. Any flavor may be used or a different flavor for each tier. Colors are being used more and more as the trends shift away from white. You may choose not to have a cake at all but to have smaller special desserts for each guest. Whatever you choose remember to consider carefully what part of the reception the cake is to play.

Head Table: Seating Plan and Things to Consider

The head table is a very traditional part of most weddings. It can also be the source of a lot of tension. There is no right or wrong way to decide how you want to have your wedding dinner set up. There are however some traditional layouts that you might want to consider.

Traditional Layouts

1. The bride and groom sit in the center of the table with the bride on the groom’s left. The bridesmaids sit on the bride’s side starting with the maid of honor. The groomsmen sit on the groom’s right side with the best man next to the groom.
2. The bride and groom sit in the center of the table with the bride on the groom’s left. Her parents would be seated next to her with her father being beside her. The groom’s parents would sit next to him with his mother being on his immediate right.
3. The bride and groom sit in the center of the table with the bridal party and their parents sitting at opposite ends of the table. This can either be done in the boy girl format or by keeping the bride’s people on her side and doing the same thing on the groom‘s side.
4. Only the wedding party sits at the head table. The bride and groom in the centre with the best man next to the bride and the maid of honor next to the groom. The rest of the bridal party is then seated in boy girl order.
5. A sweetheart table is set up for just the bride and groom

Things to consider when planning your head table:

• How many people are in your bridal party?
• Do you have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen?
• Are either the brides or groom’s parents divorced?
• Do the divorced parents have new partners?

There are many ways that you can diplomatically work around these problems. If there is not enough room at the head table for all the people you wish to include, then a sweetheart table might be the best option. Then ask each member of the bridal party to act as a host/hostess at other tables. You may wish to include the parents of the bride and groom in this request. You may also set up a family table at which both sets of parents will sit. The family table or first table may include any people you want, that you were not able to seat at the head table. Whether or not you have a seating plan for the rest of the room it is very important that you work out the details of the head table and family table well ahead of the wedding so that these people will know where they are expected to sit and with whom.

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